TAB Totty

I am absolutely outraged by the TAB's decision to bring back TAB Totty, despite the overwhelming opposition towards the last few pieces. Not only do I feel like Brittany has been objectified but, as a woman, I myself feel like an object whenever I look at the front page. I can imagine myself in that situation instead of her because quite frankly, I do have the body for it. But I also happen to have the brains to decide not to show it off to the world.

No doubt, she was forced into it, similarly to how women in third world countries are forced to pose semi-naked on their student websites. This is no different from that appalling breach of human rights. Even though she may say it was consensual, and may even think it with complete certainty, I can tell you that it certainly was not.

She has clearly been brainwashed by society. Brittany wasn't born this way, you all made her this way. And as a woman, as there is no legal statute that protects her from exploitation, she has no choice but to oblige. You see, society is plagued with an innate casual sexism and censorship that it has gone so far as to censor Brittany's clothes. Every time a guy gets a boner over me, that's sexism rearing it's ugly head. Every time a woman is made to bear a child and go on maternity leave, that's sexism. Every time a black woman is called a nigger, that's sexism. And who is behind this sexism? The government? Possibly, it's run by men. The TAB? In a way, they are the penis with which men shoot their sexism bullets. The entire male species? Bingo.

You see, women, sexism is one big conspiracy, and all the men in the world are in on it. Every time I'm in a pub, there is always some pervert refusing to meet my eye line. Should womanity be punished for wearing low cut tops? No. Yet, society does punish us by sending all these pathetic men who try to look up our short skirts whenever we sit cross legged on the floor. There's always some guy on the street who yells “I'll have some of that” whenever we walk past sexily as if we are ice creams waiting to be eaten out. We can't help it, but you don't have to turn us into objects you fucking chauvinists. They're all in on it. Except the gays, they're ok.

So next time, Brittany, or any other of you women who are contacted by the misogynist brigade, try to break through that sexist conditioning that has been pounded into you through every hole in this menocracy, and just say no. No doubt you will be censored, then called a prude, which is just another form of censorship really, but you should still have the courage to shake your head and keep your clothes on.

Anita Stern